Movie Night At The Rein House

Jenn: I’m going to put in a Netflix.

Tim: Oh yeah? Whaddaya got?

Jenn: You won’t like it.

Tim: How do you know?

Jenn: It’s a chick film with Spanish subtitles in about 35 percent of the movie.

Tim: [Long pause]

Jenn: I’m guessin’ you’re not feelin’ it.

Tim: No, I’m not. Let’s go to Blockbuster.

AT BLOCKBUSTER: New Release section working backward through the alphabet.

Tim: Let’s get “Troy”.

Jenn: Okay. [Images of Brad Pitt in seriously sexy period costume dancing through her head] It’s pretty long, though.

Tim: I think I’ll be okay.

Jenn: How about this?

Tim: Is this another character driven film?

Jenn: What if it is?

Tim: [Short pause coupled by “you know what I mean” stare]

Jenn: Okay, it is.

Tim: I won’t like it.

Jenn: It’s funny.

Tim: Yeah, clown funny.

Jenn: C’mon.

Tim: How about this one?

Jenn: [Reading the back of “In Good Company” with Dennis Quaid and Scarlett Johanssen] Hm.

Tim: You feelin’ it?

Jenn: A little, but I’m hoping it won’t be a waste of my time.

Tim: [Points to Scarlett] She’s in it, though. You like her.

Jenn: I like her?

Tim: [Smirking] Yeah.

Jenn: Uh-huh.

Tim: The best part about Lost in Translation was the opening scene. (Referring to Sofia Coppola’s well shot view of Scarlett’s early twenties rear end)

Jenn: I’m shocked you remember watching that movie. It was a character driven film.

Tim: For the first two minutes, it was a “sweet ass driven” film.

Jenn: [Laughs loudly once so as to bring attention to herself in public, as usual. Blockbuster patrons stare at the girl with Turret’s Syndrome] Let’s get it.

Tim: We’re outta here [starts walking toward the beginning of the alpabet]. Who’s in this? [Holding a copy of “Alexander”]

Jenn: Colin Farrell.

Tim: Do you think Colin Farrell is better than Brad Pitt?

Jenn: I don’t think it matters. I think it just depends on which story you would prefer to sit through. They are both long.

Tim: Maybe we should get “Alexander” instead of “Troy”.

Jenn: “Alexander” was directed by Oliver Stone.

Tim: And?

Jenn: And, he has a tendency to be self indulgent. Look here – every copy on the shelf is the Director’s Cut. I mean, how much did they actually add on for the DVD release? It’s probably like four hours long now.

Tim: Oh c’mon. Ya think?

Jenn: I’m exaggerating, but it probably is pretty lengthy now that he got to include some massively expensive war scene that got cut for the theater release. Who knows?

Tim: [Holds “Troy” in his left hand and “Alexander” in his right. Weighs the decision for a moment]

Jenn: Angelina Jolie is in Alexander.

Tim: Sold. [Puts Troy on shelf in the “A” section] Let’s get outta here.

LATER ON, WATCHING “ALEXANDER”

Tim: Are you sleeping already?

Jenn: [Silence]

Tim: Hey.

Jenn: Huh? Oh. What?

Tim: You were sleeping.

Jenn: Only for a second.

Tim: This is pretty interesting so far.

Jenn: Did he start Afghanistan?

Tim: Not yet.

Jenn: Did he sleep with his mother yet?

Tim: He sleeps with his mother?

Jenn: Even if it isn’t historically accurate, why would you cast Angelina Jolie in the role of Alexander’s mother if they weren’t gonna due the deed?

Tim: It’s been inferred.

Jenn: Inferred? Dude crammed this story into three hours and there’s no Oedipus action goin’?

Tim: Maybe soon.

BOTH WATCH MOVIE FOR A FEW MINUTES

Jenn: Well, I’m going to bed. Let me know if he gets it on with his mother.

Tim: Nice.

Jenn: I try.