Up To Date Irritants

What is up with me? I’m here to tell you.

Let me start with a few things that have been bothering me.

It bothers me that I enjoy a television show enough to be tortured by re-runs. The Gilmore Girls, the most well written show on television (which has never been acknowledged by those elitist Emmy folk, by the way), is in the throws of perhaps its most suspense filled season and I am left to wallow in self pity both when a re-run airs and when a new show airs – and then ends. I remember yelling, “NO!” at the television last time a new episode came to its end. I can’t really win either way. I just know I won’t be exposed to a new script written by the brilliant Sherman-Palladino team for another couple of weeks.

I am miserable.

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I am sincerely disturbed by the latest Pillsbury ad campaign, which features the Pillsbury Doughboy singing a Barry White song. Yes, the voice of Barry White is coming out of the Doughboy’s computer generated mouth. I don’t actually listen to the finely tuned voice of Mr. White on a regular basis, but even I know what his music is designed to do: seduce, baby.

Thus I am profoundly flummoxed at the mere idea that this pop ‘n fresh cartoon character is singing sexy about cinnamon buns. It’s just wrong. That’s baby makin’ music, Pillsbury! Honestly, should we really be affiliating the Doughboy with the raw physical act of love?

Gives a whole new meaning to “bun in the oven”.

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Winter is genuinely starting to get under my skin. I am now counting the days until day light saving commences. It begins at 2AM on the first Sunday in April. April 2, 2006 is now 67 days away. I can deal. I can. Wait – I’ve almost convinced myself…

In the mean time, I think it is incumbent upon all of us to ensure that the lack of light does not drive us to do something unreasonable. For instance, I have been paying a great deal of attention lately to housework.

That can only be from lack of sunshine.

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I am very bothered by the fact that I cannot start a new magazine subscription, order something from a catalog, or start giving to a charity without automatically getting put onto a shared mailing list of some kind. After having basically accused my local PBS station of sharing my information, it was pointed out to me by the person on the phone that it is not the policy of our local PBS affiliate to share data with anyone in this regard.

Who to blame now? Amnesty International. I sincerely believe in the rights of political prisoners and that is what spurned my joining. However, I did not join so that every charity and its associated product pandering catalog could send me information. Any idea how much paper one person wastes in a week? Well, I can guarandamntee ya that most of that waste generates itself directly out of one’s mailbox.

After having started and finished a phone calling campaign that occupied my Saturday mornings for a good month that was designed to nix the unwanted catalogs from my daily mail call, I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never truly limit the amount of junk mail I get – no matter how hard I try.

There is a greater force at work here, folks. It will rise above us all and one day prove – through overuse of landfills – that the end of this earth will come at the hand of the U.S. Postal Service and all who encourage the evil dissemination of useless paper.

“Help! I am trapped without fresh air under this pile of coupon mailings….!”

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I am genuinely irritated that automobile manufacturers are now making car seats wider to accommodate the girth of the American public. That is like just giving up.

From the newspaper The Australian:

The front seats of Honda's 2006 Civic are 2cm wider than this year's model. Subaru's new B9 Tribeca, designed for the US market, offers front-seat passengers an extra 1.3cm over other models in the line. Mercedes Benz's R-Class Grand Sports Tourer gives front-seat riders 2.5cm of extra girth over its M-Class.

US producers say they have already accounted for the ample American derriere. But Ford, in what it says is an industry first, recently began using virtual mannequins in nine different body types - including extra large - in its computer-aided design.

The company is studying the possibility of using inflatable seats to fit passengers of every shape.
The changes are being forced on the car makers by the much-heralded "obesity epidemic" in the US, where almost one in four adults is clinically obese and almost two-thirds are overweight.

Um, I’m thinking this epidemic will require more than just bigger seats in cars. The possibilities are endless! We will have to retrofit airplanes, buses, trains, and all movie theater seats. Perhaps it is best not to eat that carrot stick. Have another bag of Doritos. Someone is bound to accommodate the expansion of your hips for you. And making bigger seats means more employment!

“Obesity Lowers Unemployment Rate” News at eleven.

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And finally, I have been irritated with myself for not keeping this blog up to date as much as I would like. I am appreciative to each and every person that takes time to read my ponderings and such, and hope that this time of year will provide me with more material to document.

Soon to come: Ice Fishing, 2006!

Read about last year’s ice fishing experience at

http://thizizjenn.livejournal.com/2005/02/19/

and about my very first ice fishing experience at

http://thizizjenn.livejournal.com/2004/01/23/

part two of this story is here:

http://thizizjenn.livejournal.com/2004/01/30/

Off to get inspired! See you in my next blog….